This Friday, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra will hold a major press conference, but so far, it has not revealed even the topic of discussion. At the same time, the DSO has been enticing (or taunting) us — we, the officially jaded skeptics in the media — with tidbits such as: The announcement will be “the first of its kind!” The press conference will feature “celebrity guests onsite and available for interviews!”

And, my personal favorite, mimosas will be served.

All very tantalizing. Still, we’ve become jaded skeptics because of previous, life-changing press conferences like the one the AT&T Performing Arts Center held at the Belo Mansion. It had fabulous food and drink and special guest star James Earl Jones — all to reveal, to a thunderous fanfare, that the opening date for the PAC would be Oct. 12.

Which was a secret to almost no one in the room.

Anyway, we have been wondering what the DSO’s announcement might be. To encourage our collective fantasies, I will begin our completely unfounded speculations with my personal favorite:

Long-time Dallasites may remember that in the mid-’80s, the DSO was seriously looking for a summer home. Because the city at the time was in the midst of building the Meyerson, this caused all sorts of public consternation. Then-Mayor Annette Strauss and a thoroughly incensed city council vowed that “Dallas will not lose the Symphony!” — not like it ‘lost’ the Cowboys, at any rate. The fact that the Symphony wasn’t actually “leaving” Dallas at all and the fact that the Boston Symphony has Tanglewood and the Chicago Symphony has Ravinia — open-air, picnic-y sites for lighter, summer fare — neither of these facts didn’t make a dent in the political call to man the barricades and stop those cellos and tympani from sneaking across the LBJ Freeway into foreign territory.

And that, dear children, is how we got the Starplex — Smirnoff — Superpages.com amphitheater in Fair Park. It was actually built — not for the likes of Poison and Def Leppard — but for the DSO.

Which, of course, has not played a single note there.

So that’s my suggestion: The DSO is going to announce it has acquired land for a new summer home. Outside Wichita Falls.

Runner-up: They’ve hired Dirk Nowitzki to narrate Peter and the Wolf.

(The real announcement, by the way, is here. And think Stephen’s idea of a retractable roof for the Meyerson (see below) sounds much niftier.)